And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:12
INDIVIDUALLY vs. COLLECTIVELY
You cannot fix what you have collectively if you can’t deal with your individual issues. The bible encourages us in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom [is] the principal thing; [therefore] get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. It’s not for you us to fix our spouse’s, we need to work on ourselves and seek the word of God to learn our roles. Once we have that understanding it is for us to walk in it and be the husbands and wives God has called us to be.
You can’t blame or lash out at your spouse for your personal issues within that you won’t address. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path. –Proverbs 3:6. Whatever suppressed issues you have the first step is to admit it, once you’ve identified it and surrender it unto the Lord and listen for him to direct your path.
Individually we are all aloud to have cranky and upset moods at times. Even during those times we are called to treat one another with love. Sometimes an upset cranky mood is a cry for help and for love. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. –Proverbs 15:1. We have to know how to give one another the space as well as the comfort that we need.